Bringing Some Things Into Question

Like so many of us, I was brought up in a religion that ground it into your head that "the gays" and their liken were the spawn of the devil and they would be—just like Sodom and Gomorrah—burned.

My question is, why so much hatred?
Why, exactly, other than "such and such/so and so says so"?

Today, I dedicate this post to my kids, first and foremost, and then to all of those whom have lost their families simply because of their sexual orientation, or gender identity. 

In celebration of National Pride Month, please know and understand that I am a proud ally.

Let me start by saying that there are so many threads to what I want to say; so many variables that play into this thing called LGBT+ Pride and what it means to me. It's hard for me to decide on where to begin.

Nevertheless, as the old adage goes ... I'll start at the beginning.

All righty, so ... I can only speak for myself.

Since that's the case, I will talk on my experience as a person and individual in a world full of all kinds of residents.

Perhaps it was my tumultuous upbringing, or maybe it was that at my core I was always a being of light and love ....

Whatever the case, I cannot say, but I never seemed to be one who formulated bigotness or prejudices of people based on skin color, accent, religion or yes ... sexual orientation or identity.

As a little kid, at my earliest age, all I cared about was being around people that were kind and nice to me. Their "looks" or what they sounded like had very little to do with my impression of them.

In my later years—and because of the influences that surrounded me—I did begin to "see" differences in people. In the way they looked, sounded, acted, things of that nature.

For example, my mom's little sister seemed more (in the way that I would have described it back then) "manly" than my mother. To add to this, she also had a lady that lived with her, and they were always very caring around one another. Furthermore, I noticed that my parents didn't care too much about that. I, on the other hand, didn't really care. I loved my aunt, liked her friend, and had fun playing with her friend's twin daughters.

In my pre-teen years my mother explained that to me as my aunt being 'funny like that'. So I asked, "What do you mean by 'funny'?"

Her answer was, "Well, you know how ladies like men?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Your auntie Iris," she said, "doesn't."

I shrugged, "Okay," and carried.

Right around this time was when my parents' found Jesus and all-out havoc was thrust into an already ass-backwards, chaotic existence.

So much happened in that time.

Even the proverbial, them (the preachers) trying to rebuke the devil of gayness out of some individuals. And whenever that devil wouldn't leave, these people were told that they had a stronghold that they weren't working hard enough to cast out and put in God's hands.

Please keep in mind that this is just one of many myriad prejudices that this church attempted to instill into its followers.

I always cringed at the exorcism sessions when the person carrying the stronghold on homosexuality would contort and convulse on the ground as preachers tortured them with holy oil/water and bellows of expulsion.

No words can really explain the horror. It was truly awful.

It never sat right with me because on the every day these people that were supposedly demon-ridden were beautiful people. Lovely, kind, warm people.

So, I befriended them, even if no one else would.

Many years later, I am proud to say that I am the mother of (starting from oldest to youngest) a bisexual daughter, a gay son, a lesbian daughter and an a-sexual developmentally disabled son.

I carry that as a badge of honor.

Not because it is "trending", but because I feel like the Universe found me worthy enough to gift me these kids because it knew that they would ALWAYS have someone to lean on in times of need. Even if the whole world turned back on them.

But, I diverge.

To add to the aforementioned question is this one ....

If the basis of religion, at its core (apart from the logistics of varying beliefs), is for us to be good human beings, then why are you so cruel to others?

After all, aren't they too living, breathing, human beings just like yourselves?

I've heard so many responses.

- "God loves them, just not the sin in them."

- "You either believe what the word of God says or burn in hell, no excuses."

- "God is a God of love, but also righteousness!"

- "I'm no one to judge, but I am just repeating what the bible/torah/whatever holy book says."

Oh, boy, the list goes on for ages. But we preach so much hatred. Why? Honestly, why?

Look past that which you cannot understand, and that which might scare you, and into the soul. Inside the human sole you will see that we all have the feelings and fears. We all have hearts that beat, and veins that bleed. We all know how to love, and how to hate.

Some will look at this post and decide that I am a sheep gone astray, confused, a vagabond sinner, an agnostic or a atheist. They may want to pray for mercy on my soul, or decide that I am a lost cause. Whatever you decide, or whatever notion you come to is your own. I won't try to change your mind.

I am at peace within myself, and in my heart that I, (1) believe that love is love. (2) will stand by any LGBT+ individual that just wants to live the same old boring life that we all do. (3) Will always love my children, even if they decided the were straight tomorrow. And (4) that I have a heart and soul full of spiritual fulfillment and flourishing.

So to those who just can't see past the tips of their own noses as it pertains to their stance on LGBT+ Pride and supporting it, I dare you to:

1. Put yourself in the shoes of the person you are judging so harshly—set your narrowmindedness and pride aside and just be human for once. See that no one would voluntarily want to put themselves through the horror of prejudice and bigotry for the sake of "fun".

2. If God is a God of love, who the hell are you to hate? Period!

3. What is it about LBGT+ individuals that scares you so much or offends your masculinity/femininity? How does "their" (saying it with sarcasm) existence hinder yours?

Maybe, just maybe, consider that if you stopped condemning other peoples sexual orientation or identity as part of your religious beliefs you might find peace in this little world.

Journal Entry: June 18th, 2020

I woke up this morning with a very powerful thought in my mind.

"No one is just one thing."

I was going to post those words on Facebook, but after having a very interesting discussion with the bestie I decided that a journal entry would be better suited. Mostly because I can then elaborate on the thought.

We are living in highly disconcerting times. Too much is happening around the globe and lines that were previously drawn are now being stomped on.

I am not here to discuss politics or current news. Rather, I am here to talk about the human condition and the elements that makes the above statement an irrevocable truth.

If you're up to taking this ride with me, hop on the train of thought.

In recent days I've talked about my desire to be in a good, fruitful and lasting relationship. However, I am facing certain elements that make me believe that this will never happen.

Trust me when I tell you that all of this runs together. It's an eternal cycle.

First let's start with the statement above.

"No one is just one thing."

Allow me to elaborate.

Far too many people believe that one factual statement of themselves describes the entirety of themselves. I've heard so many people say things like ...

"I have a bad temper because I am Italian."

"I speak loudly because I am Hispanic."

"I like fried chicken because I am Black."

"I act flamboyant because I am gay."

"I am a butch because I am a lesbian."

In my opinion these types of statements are narrow-minded. Not to mention inaccurate, prejudice, and radical.

It take an expansively-minded person to see what I am saying.

Bear with me here for a minute.

I'll make myself an example. Here are several facts about myself and how I identify as a person:

I am Afro-Latina.

I am a Heterosexual-Sapiosexual.

I am independent.

I am intelligent.

I am short or statue.

I am spiritual.

I am all of these things. Furthermore, being me, I cannot be just one of these things without embodying the rest.

Some of these elements of myself were encrypted in my DNA at conception, others were formulated and molded through time. But everyone of them explains my personality/characteristics.

Being a woman of color and my sexuality, stature, gifts and mental functionality were things that were preordained. They just are because I am. Simple as that.

However, my emotional-maturity, view of the world, independence and spirituality were created through time, trail and error. They do not make me any more or less myself.

The whole of these descriptions encompasses the whole of who I am.

If I so desired, I could just as easily say, "I have a bad temper because I'm Hispanic." Yet, in all actuality, a "bad temper", or the lack of temperamental control, is a choice. I can choose to react or not react, thus, this is not a trait of self but an option.

Now that that's out there, I'll address the larger scope of things.

In that Black Lives Matter movement there are a vast number of people stating that this movement only represents "Straight Black People". As per their belief, if you're LGBT and just happen to be black, this movement doesn't represent you.

Sorry, not sorry. That's bullshit. Plain and simple fuckery.

A person does not choose to be born black, neither do they choose to be LGBT or straight.

THEY ARE BORN THIS WAY!

Fundamentally etched into the chromosomes of a zygote (if you don't know what this is, look it up) is an individual's race, creed, color and sexuality.

Therefore, how can just straight black lives matter? Just the notion alone is ludicrous. It's like saying that only heterosexual blacks are really black and every other sexuality of black is make-believing they are black.

Let's take this down to laymen terms ...

Saying that only heterosexual blacks are really black is like saying that smoked pork bacon is the only real bacon and cured pork bacon is pretending it's bacon. It's a contradiction, an asinine absurdity.

ALL BLACK LIVES MATTER!

The problem is within the elemental composition of the human condition. This is more about our hearts than it is about our political preference or our religion.

ALL HUMANS WANT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, BUT ONLY FEW CAN TRULY GIVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

To further complicate the matter is the shallowness of mind—the one dimensional ideology of the concept of humanity.

Let me put this in a way that you can understand.

All people want to feel fully and completely loved for exactly who they are. They want to feel accepted for every element that makes them, them. They don't want to have to hide any part of themselves and still feel uncompromising love and acceptance.

People don't want to be tolerated, they want to be received with open arms and minds.

Yet and still, these very same people do not have the developmental-emotional capacity to accept others in the same fashion. This frame of mind is a byproduct of the inability to see past the surface and into the soul.

These people can only see one thing in others, whatever that one thing is.

This mindset is paradoxical and toxic, yet these people are blind to it. They simply cannot see past the ambiguity.

But, the fact of the matter is that this paradoxical mindset is more the norm than the exception.

Until humanity can see that no one is just one thing, they'll never be able to give themselves or others unconditional love and acceptance.

Now, as this pertains to me and my love life ...

Until such a man exists who can see that I am so much more than just ONE THING I may very well be single forever.

H.E.R. & Simmer: Sweet & Smoothe Blog Tour

Hiya! Today I am happy to bring you all a double interview with authors Synful Desire and Adonis Mann. They are both highly talented and incredibly amazing LGBTQIA authors and today they are here to talk about their upcoming releases, "H.E.R.: Handy Extended Release" and "Simmer: Smoothe & Sweet".

Let's here it for Adonis Mann & Synful Desire!

I asked both of these authors some questions in regards to their works and here is what they said. First up ...

H.E.R.

1. Ms. Desire, inside of H.E.R. there are two short story extras, why were they included? Do they tie into the main story? If so, in what way?

Well, there is a bit more than just two extra short stories. H.E.R. also has an epilogue and some speak from the main character of "Handy" herself. The two extra stories, although they don't directly tie into "Handy", do tie into the different traits that I feel make for long lasting intimacy--being erotic, daring to be experimental, and permitting yourself to be entertained.

2. From the story Handy, who is your favorite character outside of the main character and why?

For me, it is Boyde. He didn't get a whole lot of play but the way I described the man left a lasting impression. Just the thought of that sexy chocolate makes me blush! :D

3. Who and/or what was the inspiration behind the story?

I will assume you are talking about the main story "Handy" so that is what I will address. I wanted to paint out a somewhat realistic landscape of what the modern dating landscape looks like. The Internet is relied on so heavily for connectivity, and romance isn't excluded. Plus, more often than not, women have had these particular experiences so putting a few twists on the search for love made for a comical tale.

Simmer Sweet

1. Do you find that Simmer Sweet represents modern day relationships in any way? If so, how?

This is a tricky question for me to answer because I'm an advocate for the whole happily ever after. Yet, I'm also realistic that not all blueprints for relationships are the same. There are people who use that type of bond as simple experimentation while others make it a staple in their relationship, or even include additional people. Simmer Sweet, if anything, represents one becoming aligned with what she really wants. Now whether it is a keeper or a fling, I leave to the reader. 😎

2. Is Simmer Sweet anything like your LGBT novelette Delectable Things?

Simmer Sweet is different from Delectable Things in that I aimed for the whole two best friends finding love, as opposed to just creating the backdrop for multiple experiences. In addition, Simmer Sweet is strictly same sex, while Delectable Things did go into detail about some heterosexual dealings prior to Sabrina's trip to Miami.

3. Does the conflict in the story mirror similar things that you've lived in your life?

I have been in the situation where a best friend has confessed her feelings for me and it go nowhere. I've been in spots where a relationship blossomed. I used the feelings associated with the best of times to showcase the connection between Teresa and Kesha.

Outstanding! Thank you Ms. Desire. Now onto Mr. Mann. Here is what I asked and what he answered.

1. Why is "Smoothe" misspelled?

In my story "Simmer Smoothe" the word smooth is spelled incorrectly because it is a name. Think of the surname Greene for example. It may read like the color green, but since it is a name, it is spelled differently. This by no means implies that it is incorrect, however.  :)  That is to say that Smoothe is a homophone to smooth.

2. Are any of your characters like you in any way?

Yes, actually. I like to think that Tommy is a bit like me. As a matter of fact, I did mold him after myself is some regards, except that he is a bit more emotional than I am. Nevertheless, Tommy has a semblance of me.

3. Who was your favorite character in the story apart from the main character?

I would have to say Rene, Tommy's best friend. He reminds me so much of the "crazy friend" that everyone has. He's over the top, fun and interesting. The sort of person that everyone wants to be around because he could lighten up their day. So, without a doubt, it is Rene. ;)

With that said, y'all should check out these book trailers of the aforementioned works. They're the bomb!

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tW0_L0z23Bs[/embed]

[embed]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgS7C3uehRU[/embed]

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